By Michael Gresham
The Texas Catholic

More than 40 couples gathered weekly at Holy Family of Nazareth Catholic Church in Irving to learn how to better pray together and be more open to God’s graces.

“Praying together is simple but not easy,” said Sharon Gross, who along with her husband Steve attended a six-week Couple Prayer Series at the Irving parish that wrapped up on Feb. 12.

“Our society is so noisy that getting quiet together takes discipline. Half of a prayer life is listening to God, and you need to be silent for that. The letters for ‘listen’ and ‘silent’ are the same.”

Gross and her husband have been parishioners at Holy Family of Nazareth since 1985. She has worked with the parish’s Adult and Family Ministry office since 1995 and has served as a full-time family ministry associate since 2017.

Gross said she first learned about the Couple Prayer Series from Father D. Eugene O’Donnell, parochial vicar at Holy Family of Nazareth.

“Father Eugene was the driving force behind bringing the series to our parish with the goal being to spread throughout the diocese,” said Gross, adding that she provided logistical, administrative, and marketing support for the series.

She said she and Father O’Donnell hit the road to promote the couples series to other family ministry leaders and married couples, attending a “Holy and Strong Marriages” workshop in September sponsored by the Diocese of Dallas Office of Evangelization, Catechetical, and Family Ministry; a deanery meeting of parish priests and staff; and the diocesan Newlywed Mass.

Father O’Donnell said he first heard about the series in a formation conference during First Theology at Notre Dame Seminary.

“The presenter was the head of Marriage and Family Life for the Archdiocese of New Orleans. He said the thinking used to be that if we brought the children back through faith formation, youth groups, and other programs, the parents would return,” Father O’Donnell explained. “Needless to say, that never happened. What he discovered is, by presenting the series, if you bring the parents back, they bring their entire family back to the Church.”

In introducing the Couple Prayer Series at his parish in Irving, Father O’Donnell said the response was incredible, and he felt it truly brought couples closer together.

“I knew the series was legitimate because it’s simple. It’s not a program. It is a life-changing event,” Father O’Donnell said. “I was not surprised at the success of the program, but I found it humbling to witness the Holy Spirit work the room. The experiences the participants shared were simply beautiful. The experience revealed far more than I expected.”

Father O’Donnell added that he believed many couples participated because not many parishes offer much in the way of ministries for couples.

“There are programs and ministries for men and women but very few for couples,” he said. “Teaching couples to pray together is beneficial for the entire family, the parish community, the greater community, and the entire Church. Once the couple becomes comfortable with praying together, they inevitably involve their custodial children in a particular way and their adult children in a more nuanced way.”

Called to help others
Facilitators for the Couple Prayer Series were Ken and Signe Castel, a Michigan couple married for 48 years with three daughters and eight grandchildren, who have been on a transformative journey of faith and love, serving as directors of the Couple Prayer Ministry since January 2018.

The Castels’ story began 17 years ago when their marriage hit a rough patch. Feeling disconnected, Signe presented Ken with an ultimatum: marriage counseling or attending a Couple Prayer Series she had heard about on Catholic radio. Opting for the latter, they embarked on a six-week series that revolutionized their relationship. Within two weeks of praying together, they noticed a remarkable change — they felt more united, spoke to each other more lovingly, and shared signs of their love in small ways.

Invited by the creators of the series, Deacon Bob and Kathy Ovies, to share their testimony, the Castels became a sharing couple, detailing how praying together elevated their marriage to a new level of faith, respect, and intimacy. Eventually, they began facilitating the series and, in 2018, took over its management.

The Couple Prayer Series’ aim is simple yet profound: to encourage couples to place Christ at the center of their marriage by praying together spontaneously. While initially intimidating, this practice fosters a deeper connection, allowing couples to glimpse into each other’s hearts and souls.

The Castels emphasize that praying together is the most intimate act for a couple. Many people simply don’t know how or where to begin or don’t feel that they have the time to devote to this practice. The Couple Prayer Series addresses all those concerns.

In the series, the Castels stress that praying together as a couple is the single most important thing that a couple can do. It puts Jesus at the center of the marriage through prayer and activates the grace given through the sacrament of matrimony.

Mary Beth Angelo, also a parishioner at Holy Family of Nazareth, said she and her husband Orly decided to attend the Couple Prayer Series after listening to Father O’Donnell discuss it.
Angelo said she learned a lot about the importance of prayer and spiritual life as a couple by attending the sessions.

“Because of the uniqueness of marriage — two becoming one — we operate out of that oneness,” she said. “We both have our separate walks with God, but we have a new relationship as being two parts of a whole. Through this type of prayer position, we can experience a completely new side of our Lord.”

Gross agreed.

“It is important for couples to pray together because, without Him as the center of your life together, it is all too easy for the relationship to take a back seat to one person, or another ‘thing,’ that becomes the focus of life together,” Gross said. “The marriage relationship is bigger than either person — including your children — and you need God’s help to remember it’s not about you. Keeping Christ first as a couple makes your marriage more peaceful, joyful, and stronger.

“I became a better wife when I realized that I love Jesus more than my husband,” Gross added. “And now that praying together is more comfortable, I believe our marriage will be stronger than ever before.”

Spiritual rejuvenation
As pastor of Holy Family of Nazareth, Father Jacob Dankasa said the Couple Prayer Series presented him with an opportunity to kickstart a parish renewal program.

“The spiritual rejuvenation of Holy Family is my priority focus,” said Father Dankasa, noting that as part of his evangelization plan for the parish, he intended to focus on families. “I believe that the family is the core of the Church, and to build a strong spiritual parish, we need to begin by forming families to help them develop a stronger relationship with Jesus.”

For such a relationship to develop, Father Dankasa said the faithful must learn to be comfortable in their communication with the Lord.

“Prayer is that communication,” he said. “Learning how to pray using our words makes us develop a comfort level that leads to a trusting relationship with Jesus.”

Father Dankasa said the Church needs families in the parishes to develop this relationship through praying together.

“For this to be implanted in a family, the couple must lead. This is what the Couple Prayer Series program does: teach couples how to pray together comfortably,” he explained. “My intention is to use the Couple Prayer Series as one of the drivers to build a community in Holy Family of Nazareth parish where our top strength is our spiritual enrichment.”

Father O’Donnell agreed.

“When couples open their prayerful relationship to their children, in a certain sense, they’re rebuilding the domestic Church,” Father O’Donnell said. “Each couple has the potential to positively affect their families for generations to come. As families are drawn closer to Christ, then by default the parish community experiences change, the greater community, and inevitably the Church.”

As someone who participated in the sessions, Gross said she hopes other couples can experience the series and benefit from the ministry it shares.

“I pray that married couples will always remember that their Christ-centered relationship is the strength of the family,” Gross said. “Sharing your joy, sorrow, work, and play in prayer together is nothing short of Heaven on Earth.”